Year one has come and gone.

I asked myself a million times to slow down, to cherish every moment like I had been told a million times before.

But sometimes you want those hard moments to pass. You want to feel like you’re doing something right, like you can help your child to feel better or sleep better. Whatever it was, no matter how hard it was in those moments I wish I wouldn’t have wished them away. I wish I could’ve embraced the struggles as much as the perfect moments.

You can’t turn back the clock though, right?

I used to find it frustrating when people would say, “enjoy every minute”, because although I know they can see how I am feeling now – it almost makes you feel guilty for not enjoying every single second and soaking it all in. Instead I think it would be more fitting to say, “try to embrace every minute, the good and the bad, because you’ll miss it all.”

It goes so quickly and nothing can prepare you for that, embracing it all or not. You become a mom one day and in the blink of an eye your tiny baby is rolling, then sitting, then crawling, walking, and talking.

I have no experience besides the first year, but I can say that it’s been the quickest year of my life with the most changes. It’s been the most beautifully challenging year and it’s changed me into the person I was meant to be. I’ve learned so much about life, love, and God all thanks to a tiny boy who is quickly growing from a baby to a toddler.

As I sit here two nights before my baby turns ONE I can’t help, but let the tears stream down my face. Each morning he wakes up he looks a bit different, a little older, he grow a bit smarter, even more silly, and just a tad more sweet than the day before.

I won’t tell you to “enjoy every minute”, because some days are just hard, but try to remind yourself that despite the difficulty you are currently in, it’ll soon change and you’ll wish for that time back. Please just don’t wish it away.

Having the blessing to watch your child thrive and grow is not something everyone experiences, and I don’t mean to sound ungrateful for it, but it also feels like a slow gut-wrenching heartbreak. You feel like you’re grieving for the baby you had two weeks ago, but you are also happy about the child they’re becoming. There simply aren’t enough words to describe the way it feels. It feels crushing, magical, difficult, and perfect all in the same instance.

Truly be present and live in every single moment, because as soon as you think time has slowed down a bit, it’ll speed up again. Be selfish with your family time, don’t make plans that take up that time if you don’t want to. Live life moment by moment and give yourself some grace. Embrace it – the good, the bad, and the indescribably perfect.

I’m just begging you, don’t blink.

Peyton William,

I don’t know how we are already here, exactly a year after the day we first met. I couldn’t let this day go by without writing you a letter. It’s a tradition I hope to keep up with as each year passes. So here goes nothing…

My sweet baby boy, I carried you in my womb for exactly 41-weeks. It was 02/01/2019 and I was scheduled for our final appointment before your induction date the next day. Daddy and I went to see Dr. Clark and had an ultrasound to check on you before it was time to meet you. During the ultrasound the technician made everything seem like everything was fine. You were wiggling around, but not quite as much as usual. I was a little bit worried about you since I thought I might be leaking fluids, but the doctors assured me the previous Monday that everything was okay. We went back in the room to wait for the doctor and forty-five long minutes later she came back in. As she as she walked through the door we knew something was wrong. She informed us that Mama’s instincts earlier in the week were right. You were moving less, because I had leaked all my fluid out very slowly. It was baby time and we were instructed to go straight to the hospital for an early induction.

I made Daddy stop and get me a chocolate chip bagel and lemonade, because I knew I wouldn’t be eating for awhile. I told him to go home and get our bags while I got checked in and settled. I was always told inductions take awhile so I figured he would have plenty of time with the fifteen minute drive home and back.

I was very nervous and got checked in at triage. While I was waiting I called Poppy and talked to him. He reassured me that everything would be okay and he kept talking about how excited he was to meet you. I called Daddy and told him i was heading back and gave him the room number. The nurse then called me back and I got set up in room 12.

They got the monitors hooked up for contractions and your heart rate and left the room. It was no more than five minutes later the nurse came briskly walking back into the room followed by Dr. Rinala and they asked me to turn onto my side. They didn’t tell me what was going on, but I could tell something was wrong. They had me flip back and fourth several times before they informed me your heart rate was dropping dangerously low. I was extremely terrified, but willing to do whatever they needed to stabilize you. I immediately was given a catheter to pump fluids back in my uterus for you and an IV for antibiotics and Pitocin. I was shaking and crying so badly. They finally got your stabilized and Dr. Rinala just held me until your Daddy walked in the door with our bags about a minute later. He was very concerned and confused what happened until the doctors explained it. He comforted me until I was able to calm down.

About an hour passed and they nurses came to check me for progress, after so received my epidural. Not much has changed and it would continue that way with me being flipped over and over to keep your heart rate stable. Your heart rate was dipping even without the stress of contractions so after five hours of flipping and barley any progression (5cm) Dr. Rinala came back in. I knew in that moment what she was going to say. It was time for an emergency c-section, because they were concerned for your life with stronger contractions and the stress of a vaginal birth. There was zero hesitation with this decision, I was willing to do or endure whatever came my way for your life.

It took about fifteen minutes to prep and then I was rolling back to the operating room. I was in there for about five minutes before Daddy could come in. I was nervous, but ready and as soon as he came in the room I was calm again. The doctors and nurses did a great job of talking to us through the surgery and after about twenty minutes and lots of tugging I felt you come out at 9:58 pm and the tears just steamed down my face. It was about ten seconds later I heard you cry and I knew you were okay even though I couldn’t see you.

Nurse Samantha got you cleaned up while Daddy took lots of pictures. Daddy brought you over to me and I got to see you for the very first time. It was instant love and the most intense love I’ve ever felt. It was overwhelmingly beautiful. I think is was especially beautiful, because in that moment I knew God answered our prayers to save you.

From that moment on I knew my purpose in life was fulfilled. My greatest and most important role on Earth was here. I was made to be a mother and mostly importantly your Mama. I wish there were words I could use that could describe how I felt in that moment, but there is nothing that will do it justice. You changed our world baby boy and I am so grateful for you.

From day one we were so in love with you. You taught us about unconditional love, patience, understanding, and so much more. This year hasn’t been free from challenges, but they taught me to be a better person, a better wife, and a better mother. You showed us how Jesus loves others, because that’s exactly how we try to love you every single day. There are days we won’t be perfect, but we will always try our very best for you. I pray every single night that you would be protected, feel loved, know God, and be exactly who He created you to be. I pray that your future is one without heartache or sadness. I pray that you always know you can come to Daddy and I in any situation and we will always support you. I truly wish I could put into words how much you mean to us Peyton, but it just wouldn’t be enough.

This year we’ve done so many things – played at the park, Cincinnati Reds games, Tennessee Vols game, Norris Lake trips, the Zoo, the Aquarium, and sooo much more. You taught us about adventure this year and to seek about the beauty in every single day (even if it’s just taking a walk to enjoy God’s creations and blessings that surround us). You also taught us to slow down. You taught us to soak in the littlest of moments – like snuggling as a family in bed, running around while Daddy holds you and you try to “kick my butt”, bath time, trying new things, reaching new milestones, etc. You showed us the importance of playing and that our to-do lists can wait. Playing with you is a million times better than any of those things.

Through each day, month, and year that passes – remember I’ll always love you. You’ll always be my baby, even when you’re not a baby anymore. I am grateful for this year and how we’ve grown and learned together my sweet boy. Thank you for making my dreams come true. Happy first birthday my little love. I love you more than words can say!

Love, Mama ♥️

To the mamas who came before me.

Your world changes in an instant – in most ways it’s beautiful, indescribable, life changing, and so much more than that. No words will ever do justice to the feeling of becoming a mother. You could live in that moment for an eternity and be okay with it. It’s Heaven on Earth.

But – there is also a side that you can’t know until you experience it yourself. The side that doesn’t come with an instruction manual or buffer period. Your world instantly changes and sometimes you don’t know how to handle all of those changes. You question your abilities, you worry you’re not doing things the right way, you struggle and stress about every decision. You feel guilty about the littlest things – sometimes those things even include taking time to yourself or sitting in the bathroom a little longer for a break.

Just know I now understand and I see you. My heart can’t express the regret I feel due to my own ignorance about what you were going through. I should’ve seen your struggle. I should’ve been there to help you and listen to you. I should’ve immersed myself into your new world. Please know now, I understand. I am proud to call you my friends and family.

To the mamas who will come after me.

I pray you read the first half of this and try to understand what your new mom friend is going through. Try to be empathetic and understand even if you can’t, because your day is coming soon and trust me, you’d want the same for yourself.

Remember that although your friend might blow you off, she’s trying to soak in every second with her sweet baby before they grow up right before her eyes. You may not have the same type of lifestyle anymore, but make the effort to maintain that relationship. Immerse yourself into her world, even if it’s unfamiliar territory. Listen to her when she’s calling out for a friend to listen. Try to understand when she can’t pick up the phone and talk for more than a minute.

It’s hard being a new mom – and feeling like you’re failing everyone else, but your baby makes it even harder. But don’t worry – you’ll get your friend back, just not in the way she once was. She’ll be changed and even better.

Motherhood makes you shine from places you didn’t know that light could shine through the darkness. It makes you cherish life in a whole new way. It makes you the best version of you – because that’s what your kids deserve. Embrace it mama: the good, the bad, the difficult and happy roads.

Just remember that someday – you’ll want a friend to be there for you. Parenthood isn’t an easy road, but with community you can get through anything. Be present, be intentional, be empathetic, because someday you’ll want the same.

Sincerely,

A Mama Who is Just Trying to Figure it All Out

When I think about time I often think about how life moves too quickly. The fast pace of our lives robs of us cherishing each moment as we should. If there is one thing becoming a parent has taught me, it’s that time is a cruel thing and it doesn’t ever slow down.

It starts with the moment you find out you’re pregnant. You’re carrying and growing a life, a life that you and your husband created. You see a little bean like human at 7.5 weeks of gestation on the ultrasound machine and you take it for granted, because you can’t quite make out that human form yet. You get anxious about knowing the gender and wish time would go a little faster to hit the 20-week mark. That’s when it first hits you, time please slow down – I’m already halfway done growing our baby. Over the next 20-weeks, you watching your body change and see your baby growing with each ultrasound (if you have more passed 20-weeks). You feel your belly grow, feel those flutters turn into kicks and rolls, and before you know it, it’s time to meet your baby.

They come crashing into the world in the most beautiful, terrifying, and wonderful fashion. It’s a moment you wish you could hit rewind on and re-live over and over again. You can’t get that moment back though. You’ll find yourself trying to relive it, trying to hang on to every little moment about it. The days in the hospital are a whirlwind of nurses, doctors, specialists, visitors, and you blink and you’re going home. Your time in the hospital is over.

This is when it all speeds up even more – you get home. Although there is such a special feeling attached to bringing your child home, this is when things really don’t slow down. Your bombarded with visitors, you’re not sleeping, your life is not your own. Please don’t get me wrong, all of those things are so wonderful in their own ways, but it makes time go too quickly.

You are home with your few day old baby and the days and nights run together. You are sleep deprived to the point that you can no longer even hold your eyes open. Then slowly those days get longer and the feedings become more spaced out. You watch as your baby grows to become more independent every single day. It starts with intentional smiles and holding their head up with so much strength it amazes you, then they start to giggle and almost roll over. Before you know it they’ll be mobile and needing you less and less as the days go on. So don’t take a single second for granted – time is a cruel thing and it’s not stopping for any of us.

As I reflect back on the last three months, it amazes me how quickly it’s gone by. How quickly time robs us of those little moments and memories. Take the pictures, spend intentional time with your family, be selfish and keep your baby to yourself, snuggle when you want to clean – just soak it all in and be present in every moment. Take the time to record every little detail in your brain, because before you know it, it’s changing again and you’re longing for more time in those moments. It’s a bittersweet ride as a parent – we are lucky to be able to watch our kids thrive and grow, but time is still a cruel thing.

Synonyms: fighter, solider, fighting man

It’s not often we hear the pronoun she or her and then the word warrior comes to mind. Although, our voices are being heard louder, our works our changing the world, and we are staking our claim one day at a time – we tend to still be seen as fragile. Don’t get me wrong we can be, but that’s what makes us human. We have been stitched together in a way that’s perfect for each of us by a God who loves us.

We all have stories and struggles throughout this life. We all have battles to fight. We have adversities to overcome. There are many times in this life I could’ve given up, I could’ve chosen an easier path, but I didn’t because I’m a warrior. It’s who God molded me to be. He gave me a fighting spirit (& here’s a little secret He didn’t just give that gift to me specifically- He gave it to you too).

Reminder: You are STRONGER than you think. You can overcome whatever you put your mind to.

This passage is meant to be a reminder of your inner strength. It lies deep within us all, because God gifted it to us.

As women, God also gifted us is the ability to bear children. He created our bodies to grow & bring life into this world. What a miraculous gift it is.

Knowing this isn’t everyone’s story (and some women truly cannot conceive children) I just want to say that this isn’t to demean or belittle your bodies in anyway. Your bodies are still strong, still beautiful, and still knit together by a King who loves you. Your sheer strength, perseverance, and love proves that you are warriors too. This is simply a testimony to what God did for me.

Throughout my pregnancy (others mostly) put me in a box. That box was one that made me feel like I couldn’t complain, I couldn’t struggle, I had to be strong and positive every single day, because my pregnancy was “easy”.

In hindsight, sure I was lucky not to have morning sickness for weeks or swollen ankles, but there is nothing easy about carrying a child. You watch your body change and crumble under the expectations of society. You overthink everything you eat, drink, or do. You worry that you’ll be a bad parent. There are so many things that challenge you mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. So please stop telling mamas they have it “easy” or saying things like, “you’re lucky that you weren’t sick”, “you’re lucky you lost all your baby weight”, etc.

STOP putting us in a box and making us feel like we can’t have bad days, because guess what… that comes with the territory.

From one mom to another – it’s also not a competition. Everyone’s experience is different, so please think before you put someone in a box and compare your story to theirs. As humans we aren’t always the most empathetic creatures, but sometimes listening is better than comparing.

It gives me so much hope and gladness in my heart when I see real testimonies of people being vulnerable about their struggle. My friend sent me a photo of Rachel Hollis (Girl, Wash Your Face Author) and it was her postpartum body. Y’all she was boasting about it. She is proud of her stretchy skin, saggy boobs, etc. It’s incredibly uplifting to see women beaming in their natural glow, allowing their true light to shine to the world.

I look at my c-section scar (& excess skin) and I don’t want it to fade anymore. That scar represents the strength of my body, my mind, and my spirit. It is because of that scar that I’m reminded that my son is a living miracle. God gave us this gift, now let’s embrace it instead of falling for the lies of our society (aka the lies of the enemy).

We are strong. We are warriors. We are mamas. We are women!

We all feel pressure from the outside, the inside, and all around us. But the pressure we put on ourselves as parents weighs heavy on every moment throughout our days.

We agonize over every choice we make for our children (even if you can’t see that we do it externally). We want to give them the best life – whether that means more things, more time, or more of whatever they need in that moment. Do we cuddle our babies longer or take ten mins for ourselves? Do we throw our child an extravagant party for their birthday every year? How do we teach them right from wrong? How do we discipline them the right way? The list plays as a never ending loop in our heads.

The fact that we feel these things so deeply is a reflection of our love. Love as a parent trumps all other loves. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a true believer that loving your spouse and having a strong marriage (should comes above all else). It sets the bar for giving your child a happy life, but that’s a whole other story. Our love runs so deep for our little ones, that sometimes it hurts. Sometimes we beat ourselves up for not being “good enough”.

I am here to tell you that YOU ARE ENOUGH. The fact that we spend so much time wondering if we are enough for them proves that we are. Sounds overly simple right? It is, but it’s the truth. If we didn’t have such strong emotions tied towards giving our kids the best life maybe it wouldn’t be enough, but it is. Sometimes we need to pause and remind ourselves that these feelings and thoughts show that we are enough for them.

You chose to take a shower instead of hold your baby for five more minutes. That’s okay. You chose to go to dinner with your friends or spouse instead of staying home with the kids. That’s okay. You chose to have a smaller birthday party without spending hundreds of dollars for a few hours. That’s okay. You yelled at your kids for misbehaving today. That’s okay.

Hear me out – all of these things are different for every family and every parent. We will always wonder if we are enough, but please just remember you are. Cherish the little moments, love them hard, and make the decisions that fit your family. There isn’t a model or mold we can follow like directions or a script. We just have to keep choosing to do our best everyday for our kids and that’s enough.

Remember, if it’s all you do – it’s enough.

I will be the first to admit it – I am a control freak.

I want to plan every aspect of my life using my perfect planner with special pens and stickers. I have summer plans mapped out months in advanced. I write down every little thing to make sure I don’t miss a thing I’ve planned. Heck, I even tried to plan and control when my husband and I would start our family. (Hint: there is NOTHING you can do to control that).

Society tells us to fear big life changes – like moving away for a big promotion or opportunity, that we have to accomplish a bucket list of incredible vacations before we start a family, that we must live the perfect Instagram post-worthy lives in order to be successful. The truth is these are societal ideals we have engrained in our brains, that instill fear, anxiety, and a ton of pressure for no reason at all other than to subconsciously compare ourselves to others.

Living in a world that values things over people creates a perpetual cycle of fear, anxiety, unworthiness, etc. The pressure we feel from wanting to portray perfect lives weighs on us all. If you’re one of the lucky ones who have figured out how to overcome this – count your blessings. It is not easy when everywhere we look we see “perfection”. Perfection is not attainable. It never has been and it never will be. Yet, we still compare ourselves to the photoshopped models, the fitness bloggers, the world travelers, the perfect moms, and successful business moguls.

Society tells us we must maintain an image to attain a perfect life. We must put on a happy face, we must be mentally healthy and god-forbid we struggle. Being human is something we’ve lost sight of and it’s important we find our way back to that. The best way I’ve learned do this is to put our faith in God and to realize that by his saving grace we are allowed to be flawed. We were not meant to be perfect, that is why his Son died for us.

I can’t help but think how our God must feel when he sees the pressure we are putting on ourselves to be these perfect superhumans. I would bet it makes him sad to see his children struggle, just like it’s hard for parents who have to watch their own children struggle.

I’ve slowly been learning that being vulnerable is so much healthier than trying to attain the perfect life (or at least the image of a perfect life). God tells us that it’s okay to not be okay, but by leaning on Him and community for support we can again remember that it’s okay to not be okay sometimes. We need to get back to rooting our lives in things that matter – God, community, and true connection.

It’s life, it’s not meant to be fair or perfect. We have been flawed since The Fall (in the beginning, when Adam and Eve started the imperfection for us). We cannot control everything that happens to us. We cannot plan out perfect lives that are without flaw. We cannot be superhumans. It is impossible.

With God and a strong community of people who support you – you can have a truly happy and fulfilling life. We must remember that even with those things we will still have fear, anxiety, feelings of unworthiness, etc., but we can be supported through them.

Remember that -your life matters. Your story matters and it’s okay to speak your truth.

How do you put an entire life into one speech? The honest answer is you can’t, especially for this wonderful man and the life he was blessed with.

He is a husband, a father, a grandfather, great, grandfather, uncle, friend and so much more to many people. Those titles are the things that he was most proud of in his life. He was a man who cherished and understood the value of family. His legacy lives on in all of us and we owe him the honor of continuing that legacy.

In his last week, he got to see his beautiful great grandbabies – Cloud, Lucca, Orion, and my son Peyton. He loved us all with his whole heart, but those babies trumped us all. I was fortunate enough to see him give Lucca and Orion gifts that made them light up like the Fourth of July and I saw the same spark in his eyes when he saw their reactions.

Before my son was born, I prayed relentlessly that my Papaw would hang on just long enough to meet him. That prayer was answered a few days before Papaw left us. The moment he held him and watched me with him I could feel how proud of me he was and how much he loved our son at first sight.

This is just a tiny story in a wonderful life, and there are so many more that his children, wife, grandkids, and other family members could tell you. Like I said before, there are never enough words to speak about such a worthy life, but here are a few more to show what an exemplary man he truly was.

He was a military man as a medic in the United States AirForce, the hardest worker you’ve ever met (since the time he was a teenager),and the ultimate provider for his family (and in this aspect his sacrifices were great), but he never saw it that way.

He would’ve given his life for any member of his family and in a way he did, for all of us. He fought this demon of a disease for years and I’ve never seen anyone fight harder. He didn’t want to miss a thing. It made me so proud to see how tough he was regardless of what he had to endure. Even through the end of his life, we could see his fighting spirit.

It’s the hardest part of our journey on Earth to lose someone that we all cherish and love so deeply, but we all believe he is restored and walking with Jesus again. We may not have received our miracle inthe way we selfishly wanted, but God worked so many miracles in our grandfather over the last few years. It was his time to be restored and with Jesus. I pray my family can believe that as my husband and I truly do. Sometimes”unanswered prayers” are for the best. We just must take the time to stop and realize that even if we don’t understand it.

He’s the Hero, Husband, Dad, and Papaw we will always remember. We love you, until we meet again.

Love always,

Your Favorite Dumbass

As I sit here and stare at the perfect baby boy that my husband and I created, I feel nothing but overwhelming thankfulness. He’s the perfect combination of the two of us and the sweetest boy ever. I imagine God’s plans unfolding for his life and all I see are wonderful things for him. I pray that his life is one that leaves a legacy and that he beams with pride when he talks about his Savior.

I know FB isn’t a journal, but I feel compelled to share stories that matter of that could have an impact on someone, instead of the junk that fills our lives on a daily basis. That being said, if you don’t want to read a story on motherhood and breastfeeding you can stop here. Thanks for making it this far. ♥️

Our son’s entrance into this world was a scary one, with an slow amniotic leak that lead to zero fluids for him, dipping fetal heart rate, and ultimately an emergency c-section. He is our miracle and that goes without saying, but thank you Jesus for saving our son!

Since he came into the world, he’s been the most perfect baby boy. The love we feel for him cannot be described and now I can only imagine how God must feel when He looks at all of His children. It’s a love you cannot fathom or begin to describe.

In the hospital babies typically don’t eat much their first few days, because they have the fluid intake from birth and colostrum which fills their tiny bellies until a mother’s milk comes in. I was lucky to have a baby with a great latch and little to know issues at the beginning. After day 3-4 he started becoming increasing irritated, because he couldn’t eat quickly enough (or he’d fall asleep from Mama’s warm skin). We met with LC’s and got a lot of great tips and things seemed to be looking up, but baby boy was still so hungry so we decided to supplement him so he could get enough. He ended up gaining weight back and we got sent home after day three.

Once we got home I’d get to him latch for the first week or so and then if he still seemed unsatisfied we’d supplement him with formula. After about a week and a half I noticed my supply starting to dwindle. I started researching everything I could to make sure our son got breast milk. I tried teas, supplements, flax and chia seeds, bars and cookies, oatmeal, chugged tons of water, warm showers, pumping every time he ate, etc. (Thank you again to those who gave me advice or actual things to help me navigate this).

And now we are here 2.5 weeks postpartum – my supply is almost dry to the bone. (Praying for a change still). Again, I stare at my son and tears come to my eyes, because I want what’s best for him and now I’m feeling like I cannot provide it (despite the efforts).

I know this is a feeling I’ll experience over and over again as a mother (& we will experience together as parents). It’s the first time experiencing such a heartache and I’m just thankful I’ve had incredible support from friends and mainly my husband through it all.

I’ll say it time and time again, having a supportive community (especially rooted in God is a powerful thing). I couldn’t get through anything without them (or Him).

I’ll end with this – I know I’m beyond blessed to have a healthy baby, to be able to conceive a child, etc. but that doesn’t mean my feelings aren’t justified. I hope someone finds encouragement in this (even if it’s not about breastfeeding – parenting in general is a wild roller coaster ride).

Thanks for sticking with me.

I know I am not the only person to ever experience what feels like a roller coaster of blessings and seemingly instantaneous battles that follow.

When I am at my strongest points in faith and the closer I get to God, the more I speak about Him, the more I spread His Kingdom, the more I can feel the other side trying to battle for my attention. I believe there is a spiritual enemy, BUT I believe that no matter how many times that enemy tries, he will NEVER overcome my God.

There is a saying my friends and I love, “NOT TODAY SATAN.” Many of you probably say this on a daily basis too. It’s a simple declaration that no matter how many times you get knocked down, you’ll get back up again. Say it with me, “NOT TODAY SATAN.”

It seems to me that the last 24-days have been just that – mainly full of outrageous blessings, but then a subtle (or not so subtle kicks to the shin).

Let me summarize it for you-

1. Our son was born (after we almost lost him due to issues with my body at 41-weeks of pregnancy). – OUR BIGGEST BLESSING & MIRACLE.
2. Our son got to meet his very sick great Grandfather (my Papaw), which I had prayed for my entire pregnancy. – ANOTHER HUGE BLESSING.
3. I tried for 2.5 weeks to breastfeed our son, but soon realized my supply was quickly dwindling despite every effort (even the kindness of strangers sending me things to help).
4. TWO DAYS after our son met his Papaw, we lost him in a tragic and unforeseen way. (Not in the way we had anticipated due to his illness)

There are many more little things that happened – both good and bad. Those details aren’t really important here.

It would have been so easy to let the devil win (and sometimes we all do), but I just keep saying over and over again, “NOT TODAY SATAN.” My God is greater and He will prevail in every situation we are given.

The way I see it is – in life you have two choices, 1. Let your circumstances dictate your outcome, or 2. You dictate your outcome by choosing to overcome your circumstances. I choose the latter. Why? Because life looks a whole lot better when you choose to see it in a positive light.

May I never forget on my BEST DAY that I still need God as desperately as I did on my worst day.