As I sit here and stare at the perfect baby boy that my husband and I created, I feel nothing but overwhelming thankfulness. He’s the perfect combination of the two of us and the sweetest boy ever. I imagine God’s plans unfolding for his life and all I see are wonderful things for him. I pray that his life is one that leaves a legacy and that he beams with pride when he talks about his Savior.
I know FB isn’t a journal, but I feel compelled to share stories that matter of that could have an impact on someone, instead of the junk that fills our lives on a daily basis. That being said, if you don’t want to read a story on motherhood and breastfeeding you can stop here. Thanks for making it this far. ♥️
Our son’s entrance into this world was a scary one, with an slow amniotic leak that lead to zero fluids for him, dipping fetal heart rate, and ultimately an emergency c-section. He is our miracle and that goes without saying, but thank you Jesus for saving our son!
Since he came into the world, he’s been the most perfect baby boy. The love we feel for him cannot be described and now I can only imagine how God must feel when He looks at all of His children. It’s a love you cannot fathom or begin to describe.
In the hospital babies typically don’t eat much their first few days, because they have the fluid intake from birth and colostrum which fills their tiny bellies until a mother’s milk comes in. I was lucky to have a baby with a great latch and little to know issues at the beginning. After day 3-4 he started becoming increasing irritated, because he couldn’t eat quickly enough (or he’d fall asleep from Mama’s warm skin). We met with LC’s and got a lot of great tips and things seemed to be looking up, but baby boy was still so hungry so we decided to supplement him so he could get enough. He ended up gaining weight back and we got sent home after day three.
Once we got home I’d get to him latch for the first week or so and then if he still seemed unsatisfied we’d supplement him with formula. After about a week and a half I noticed my supply starting to dwindle. I started researching everything I could to make sure our son got breast milk. I tried teas, supplements, flax and chia seeds, bars and cookies, oatmeal, chugged tons of water, warm showers, pumping every time he ate, etc. (Thank you again to those who gave me advice or actual things to help me navigate this).
And now we are here 2.5 weeks postpartum – my supply is almost dry to the bone. (Praying for a change still). Again, I stare at my son and tears come to my eyes, because I want what’s best for him and now I’m feeling like I cannot provide it (despite the efforts).
I know this is a feeling I’ll experience over and over again as a mother (& we will experience together as parents). It’s the first time experiencing such a heartache and I’m just thankful I’ve had incredible support from friends and mainly my husband through it all.
I’ll say it time and time again, having a supportive community (especially rooted in God is a powerful thing). I couldn’t get through anything without them (or Him).
I’ll end with this – I know I’m beyond blessed to have a healthy baby, to be able to conceive a child, etc. but that doesn’t mean my feelings aren’t justified. I hope someone finds encouragement in this (even if it’s not about breastfeeding – parenting in general is a wild roller coaster ride).
Thanks for sticking with me.
Soul on Fire 