I will be the first to admit it – I am a control freak.
I want to plan every aspect of my life using my perfect planner with special pens and stickers. I have summer plans mapped out months in advanced. I write down every little thing to make sure I don’t miss a thing I’ve planned. Heck, I even tried to plan and control when my husband and I would start our family. (Hint: there is NOTHING you can do to control that).
Society tells us to fear big life changes – like moving away for a big promotion or opportunity, that we have to accomplish a bucket list of incredible vacations before we start a family, that we must live the perfect Instagram post-worthy lives in order to be successful. The truth is these are societal ideals we have engrained in our brains, that instill fear, anxiety, and a ton of pressure for no reason at all other than to subconsciously compare ourselves to others.
Living in a world that values things over people creates a perpetual cycle of fear, anxiety, unworthiness, etc. The pressure we feel from wanting to portray perfect lives weighs on us all. If you’re one of the lucky ones who have figured out how to overcome this – count your blessings. It is not easy when everywhere we look we see “perfection”. Perfection is not attainable. It never has been and it never will be. Yet, we still compare ourselves to the photoshopped models, the fitness bloggers, the world travelers, the perfect moms, and successful business moguls.
Society tells us we must maintain an image to attain a perfect life. We must put on a happy face, we must be mentally healthy and god-forbid we struggle. Being human is something we’ve lost sight of and it’s important we find our way back to that. The best way I’ve learned do this is to put our faith in God and to realize that by his saving grace we are allowed to be flawed. We were not meant to be perfect, that is why his Son died for us.
I can’t help but think how our God must feel when he sees the pressure we are putting on ourselves to be these perfect superhumans. I would bet it makes him sad to see his children struggle, just like it’s hard for parents who have to watch their own children struggle.
I’ve slowly been learning that being vulnerable is so much healthier than trying to attain the perfect life (or at least the image of a perfect life). God tells us that it’s okay to not be okay, but by leaning on Him and community for support we can again remember that it’s okay to not be okay sometimes. We need to get back to rooting our lives in things that matter – God, community, and true connection.
It’s life, it’s not meant to be fair or perfect. We have been flawed since The Fall (in the beginning, when Adam and Eve started the imperfection for us). We cannot control everything that happens to us. We cannot plan out perfect lives that are without flaw. We cannot be superhumans. It is impossible.
With God and a strong community of people who support you – you can have a truly happy and fulfilling life. We must remember that even with those things we will still have fear, anxiety, feelings of unworthiness, etc., but we can be supported through them.
Remember that -your life matters. Your story matters and it’s okay to speak your truth.
Soul on Fire 