To the mamas who came before me.
Your world changes in an instant – in most ways it’s beautiful, indescribable, life changing, and so much more than that. No words will ever do justice to the feeling of becoming a mother. You could live in that moment for an eternity and be okay with it. It’s Heaven on Earth.
But – there is also a side that you can’t know until you experience it yourself. The side that doesn’t come with an instruction manual or buffer period. Your world instantly changes and sometimes you don’t know how to handle all of those changes. You question your abilities, you worry you’re not doing things the right way, you struggle and stress about every decision. You feel guilty about the littlest things – sometimes those things even include taking time to yourself or sitting in the bathroom a little longer for a break.
Just know I now understand and I see you. My heart can’t express the regret I feel due to my own ignorance about what you were going through. I should’ve seen your struggle. I should’ve been there to help you and listen to you. I should’ve immersed myself into your new world. Please know now, I understand. I am proud to call you my friends and family.
To the mamas who will come after me.
I pray you read the first half of this and try to understand what your new mom friend is going through. Try to be empathetic and understand even if you can’t, because your day is coming soon and trust me, you’d want the same for yourself.
Remember that although your friend might blow you off, she’s trying to soak in every second with her sweet baby before they grow up right before her eyes. You may not have the same type of lifestyle anymore, but make the effort to maintain that relationship. Immerse yourself into her world, even if it’s unfamiliar territory. Listen to her when she’s calling out for a friend to listen. Try to understand when she can’t pick up the phone and talk for more than a minute.
It’s hard being a new mom – and feeling like you’re failing everyone else, but your baby makes it even harder. But don’t worry – you’ll get your friend back, just not in the way she once was. She’ll be changed and even better.
Motherhood makes you shine from places you didn’t know that light could shine through the darkness. It makes you cherish life in a whole new way. It makes you the best version of you – because that’s what your kids deserve. Embrace it mama: the good, the bad, the difficult and happy roads.
Just remember that someday – you’ll want a friend to be there for you. Parenthood isn’t an easy road, but with community you can get through anything. Be present, be intentional, be empathetic, because someday you’ll want the same.
Sincerely,
A Mama Who is Just Trying to Figure it All Out
Soul on Fire 