Don’t Blink

Year one has come and gone.

I asked myself a million times to slow down, to cherish every moment like I had been told a million times before.

But sometimes you want those hard moments to pass. You want to feel like you’re doing something right, like you can help your child to feel better or sleep better. Whatever it was, no matter how hard it was in those moments I wish I wouldn’t have wished them away. I wish I could’ve embraced the struggles as much as the perfect moments.

You can’t turn back the clock though, right?

I used to find it frustrating when people would say, “enjoy every minute”, because although I know they can see how I am feeling now – it almost makes you feel guilty for not enjoying every single second and soaking it all in. Instead I think it would be more fitting to say, “try to embrace every minute, the good and the bad, because you’ll miss it all.”

It goes so quickly and nothing can prepare you for that, embracing it all or not. You become a mom one day and in the blink of an eye your tiny baby is rolling, then sitting, then crawling, walking, and talking.

I have no experience besides the first year, but I can say that it’s been the quickest year of my life with the most changes. It’s been the most beautifully challenging year and it’s changed me into the person I was meant to be. I’ve learned so much about life, love, and God all thanks to a tiny boy who is quickly growing from a baby to a toddler.

As I sit here two nights before my baby turns ONE I can’t help, but let the tears stream down my face. Each morning he wakes up he looks a bit different, a little older, he grow a bit smarter, even more silly, and just a tad more sweet than the day before.

I won’t tell you to “enjoy every minute”, because some days are just hard, but try to remind yourself that despite the difficulty you are currently in, it’ll soon change and you’ll wish for that time back. Please just don’t wish it away.

Having the blessing to watch your child thrive and grow is not something everyone experiences, and I don’t mean to sound ungrateful for it, but it also feels like a slow gut-wrenching heartbreak. You feel like you’re grieving for the baby you had two weeks ago, but you are also happy about the child they’re becoming. There simply aren’t enough words to describe the way it feels. It feels crushing, magical, difficult, and perfect all in the same instance.

Truly be present and live in every single moment, because as soon as you think time has slowed down a bit, it’ll speed up again. Be selfish with your family time, don’t make plans that take up that time if you don’t want to. Live life moment by moment and give yourself some grace. Embrace it – the good, the bad, and the indescribably perfect.

I’m just begging you, don’t blink.